There’s nothing better than spending a night out to dinner at one of your favorite restaurants, until you run into one of these people:
1. The Dining Thief
Did he actually just ask to try my pizza? And where are my fries?
2. The Wait staff Abuser
Thank you for this terrifying peek into your home life.
3. The Sad Solo Diner
Man, you didn’t even bring a book? At least pretend to look at something on your phone! I’m getting anxious for you.
4. The Substituter
“I’d like a steak, but instead of the mashed potatoes, can I get the seekh kebabs from that desi deal 2? And instead of the buffalo wings, can I get that appetizer you used to have in the ’90s, but with a different type of sauce? And instead of the steak, can I get thrown through the plate glass window in the front of the restaurant?”
5. The Loud Caller
“No, don’t worry about it, I’m not busy. I’m just sitting at dinner with three other people in a restaurant, so obviously I feel like this is the right time to talk openly and loudly about why divorcing Rasheed was the best thing I’ve ever done for your life. Hold on, I’m getting another call.”
6. The Couple with a Baby in a Place Where There Shouldn’t Be One
We salute the fact that you’re not letting a baby get in the way of you living your life, but maybe don’t bring him/her to an extremely crowded restaurant, yeah?!? It’s super annoying.
7. The Perpetual Instagrammer
We get that it’s hard to enjoy food if a) no one knows you’re eating it, and b) it is not filtered through X-Pro II. Makes me wanna do this to these people every time!!!
8. The Crazily Overdressed
Why yes, it is kind of a money move to wear that bridal dress at a fancy restaurant, as long as you don’t mind people calling you paindu.
9. The ‘Bored of each other’ Couple
They clearly have nothing left to say to each other. They’ve been silent for 38 minutes!
10. The Heavy Farter
You think you got away with it. But your eyes and that ever-so-slight shift in your seat reveal everything.
11. The Food Waster
There’s, like, three quarters of steak on your plate. You seriously aren’t taking that home? Um… can I have it?
12. Nonstop Selfie Girl
For the love of God stop already. Or bring a photographer next time for a proper shoot. Need to control my anger like…
13. The Nose-Blower
Please just go to the bathroom? And take that Farter with you.
So which one are you?